No more judgments... no more fear

For one reason or another - it hasn't felt like Christmas this year yet.  Hard to put my finger on why - warm weather, family not together (this college thing takes some getting used to first time through), travel, various tragic events...

Anyway - maybe everyone being home now, the weather being a touch on the cool side, and a little time to settle and process the tragic events challenging us in the deepest darkest recesses of our beings, I think I am getting there.  Good thing too as in a little over a week we are there.

A good friend Pat Green has taken a bit of a break from Facebook.  There are a lot of things I miss about that, but one is his regular publishing of an evening “hymn” before turning in.  OK – don’t worry – they aren’t your grandmothers hymns (not that there is anything wrong with that).  They would make an awesome playlist though.

So I thought I would put something out there myself – with a bit of a Christmas flavor as tis the season.  This of course is not your traditional hymn or Christmas song – but it feels right to me after the last weeks.  And the selection is Glorious by Melissa Etheridge.  Select phrase from my heart…

Friends

And family near

No more judgments

No more fear

For those who enjoy a music video there are two here – one that lacks quality of a professional recording and yet has a poignant raw edge to it.  If you want to hear the song more clearly – together with mushy video, then the second will do the trick.

Glorious (live and raw)

Glorious (mushy version) 

 

  

an endless, deafening silence…

I don’t often go back and read what I’ve written but I felt compelled to go back and read this recent post.  What grieves me terribly is the events in Newtown compelled me to do so this soon.

[ref: Don't Let There Be Hole in the World Tomorrow ]

Did I want it to reassure me?  Did I want it to ease the disquiet in my soul? Was I hoping I had somewhere in my rambling jotted down an answer?

The truth is I don’t have an answer.  A friend of mine posted a podcast.  Phil is a pastor of a rather non-traditional faith community.  He didn’t have any answers either – just a lament.  I was glad to hear his heartfelt honesty.  I don't know why people are so convinced pastors and ministers in particular and we as a society in general needs to have an answer.  Maybe it would make it all easier to put it away in a little box and move on.  If only we knew why…  if only there was someone or something we could blame.  Do we think even the most perfect answer will make moving on possible for the people affected there in Newtown?

I grieve for them... I have no answers either, but my heart is broken with them.

I heard some of a press conference with the governor of Connecticut.  Amongst so many heart rending pieces of information and the grief poured out, one particular statement has really been gnawing away at me…

“Evil visited this community today” 

What do we do with that?  How do we prevent that?  Is it true that it is always there – latent – malevolent – waiting to be unleashed upon unsuspecting and undeserving people?  And whether it is there under the surface all the time – or just pops up at the most inopportune moments – where is God in all this?

Less than five months ago, one day after the tragic theater shootings in nearby Aurora I wrote:

Yes – yesterday there was a hole in the world.  Today is a new day – and while that does not mean something like this will never happen again (although I hope and pray that it does not), I will move forward in my life, believing that forgiveness and love has the capacity to overcome fear and evil.

Can I still believe this?  Is forgiveness and love enough?  Five months ago perhaps is was cathartic to write that – it almost seems trite now.  Perhaps it was easier to say last time writing a day after the tragedy – when my emotions were less raw.  It’s like these words were at best a Band-Aid that has been ripped away. 

The Band-Aid gets ripped away again when I read what to me is unconscionable nonsense from recent presidential primary candidate Mike Huckabee – suggesting that the violence was no surprise because we have "systematically removed God" from public schools.  Seriously?  What is he saying – that God repays evil (at least Huckabee’s vision of evil) with evil?  Again in the words of my friend Jimmy, “If you think God allowed 20 children to die because some folks turned their back on him I don't know what to say to that... I choose not to believe God is that petty?  If he is we are ALL in trouble.”   Me personally – I don’t think we are in trouble – God’s heart broke over this much faster than any of ours.

The Band-Aid gets ripped away again when I hear people advocating for our teachers to carry handguns and be trained to use them.  Again – seriously?  My wife is a teacher and I asked her.  She didn’t think you could convince many teachers to do it.  But even if you could – is this an answer?  It seems over and over to be one of the preferred answers here – answer violence with violence.  Personally I find the notion of armed teachers horrific - and we would be outraged soon enough over the shooting of a child by a teacher that turned out to be unjustified - even more so than we are when this happens at the hands of our armed law enforcement.

The Band-Aid get ripped away again when I hear nonsense like “guns don’t kill people – bad people with guns kill people”, or “we have all the laws we need to prevent this – we just need to enforce them”, or directly attributable to a leader of the NRA “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun” (Wayne LaPierre).  I’m sorry; I grew up on a farm.  I’m not opposed to guns.  I get the need as we had in Australia for control of animals threatening your livestock.  I get the utility as we did in Australia of using them to hunt for food.  I never contemplated and can think of no plausible reason why handguns or assault style weapons are needed for either of these purposes, both of which I consider legitimate.

But the truth remains - I still don’t have an answer.  Yesterday at least for me was not the day for answers.  I don’t know how to overcome evil, but I think a part of me will continue to hold out for forgiveness and love as a strong undercurrent.  Some of the most significant and transformative social change we have seen in this last hundred years came through adoption of largely nonviolent approaches.  

But we do need answers soon.  Tomorrow there will still be a hole in the world for many.  Tomorrow more than today, there will be for some as my friend Brandon wrote, “an endless deafening silence”.  Love and forgiveness will help – but we cannot just put this behind us and forge on stoically.  We can’t just say this is not us – because while there is unquestionably far more good than evil, the father of a student murdered in a school shooting 20 years ago makes an challenging statement which I think of more as a proposition:

“I came to realize that, in essence, this is the way we in America want things to be.”

The horror of this proposition is of course unacceptable today of all days, and yet are we willing to really go deep into darkest places of our souls and answer this.  Fundamentally I would say the answer to that proposition is no – this is NOT the way we want things to be, but then the challenge remains - what are we willing to do to change it?

I don’t have the answers for how this evil came among us, the nature of evil or how evil generally comes about.  Edmund Burke has been quoted perhaps uncountable times for saying:

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

The obvious extension of this is saying nothing is the same as doing nothing.   If the endless deafening silence is not only that in the homes of the victims in Newtown, then the blame for the next tragedy like this falls at our feet.

Fireworks

the rumbles of fireworks draw me

outside

hoping for a glimpse and yet

colors tinged with a slight sadness

summer fades as the bright colors

falling from the sky like leaves from the trees

and then darkness, silence

the peaks already dusted with snow

winter comes…

I set all my regrets on fire

In this moment now, capture it, remember it. You pull me in and I'm a little more brave, you take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless.

Last night in Colorado ♥

Mallory / Taylor Swift

Music and Mallory have always seemed intertwined, so perhaps it was fitting that as we pulled into the parking lot at the airport this morning, this song and these particular lyrics were playing…

We are young

So let’s set the world on fire

We can burn brighter than the sun

Fun

Fitting indeed that the next chapter of what has already been an amazing life would be in New Mexico, “The Land of Enchantment”, whose state symbol is the Zia, symbolic to some of the original pueblo people as the sun.

Mallory’s last blog post (if that’s what you do on Tumblr) started with this quote

“The wild passion of letting yourself be transported by wind, by burning heat and by cold space… The pleasure of being anonymous, of being quiet for a long time, of existing in no place at all… The pleasure of leaving, of being far away, of being missing… The subtle pleasures of erasing the presence of your body, your words and your shadow, of counting for nothing, of hiding yourself, of becoming so light that you fly away…” Michel Sierres

I encourage you to read the whole thing (post titled “Now Boarding”) – and a lot of here other thoughts as well at

Now Boarding

In essence though, Mallory writes about the excitement she finds in airports, as much as anything because of the anticipation they hold – the promise of things to come.  Fitting too then that the quote she has chosen to reflect herself on Tumblr is from Henry David Thoreau;

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn

Today is hard.  I suppose I always knew it would be.  It was not something I was dreading and this past week – the culmination of a years of “lasts” has almost seemed anticlimactic.  Indeed, that Mallory is so ready for this is certainly helping a lot.  But bittersweet is just that.  Today is hard!

In the movie Saving Private Ryan, an elderly Ryan talking at the headstone of the leader of a group of soldiers who sacrificed his life as a young soldier getting Ryan out of the battlefield,

I tried to live my life the best that I could. I hope that was enough. I hope that, at least in your eyes, I've earned what all of you have done for me.

This and then the question he asks his wife,

Tell me I have led a good life.   …   Tell me I'm a good man.

have always been to me a question I always want to feel I am on the right side of – in effect – have I made a positive difference – did I do more good than harm…

Today we pass a milestone where in part I find out.  Mallory will always be my little girl, and I will always be her papa, but the formative days are largely done.  So largely I am find peace in the fact that Mallory will shine, continue to shine really.  Whatever small or large part I have had her doing that and becoming the beautiful young woman she is brings comfort to my soul.  As I said in a short speech I made at her Sweet 16 celebration not all that long ago when reflecting on the notion that our children are mirrors, reflecting the best and worst of our character, that with Mallory, sometimes I fear as a parent I may get too much credit and my many failings are obscured. 

It Goes by in a Flash

I am indeed, a fortunate father.

Don’t Let There be a Hole in the World Tomorrow

It’s a new day in Colorado.  

Yesterday was in many ways a crummy day – which is not meant to be an understatement, but it was one of those handful of days in my mind where the disquiet in my soul was just something I couldn’t easily find a way out of.  But even a day such as yesterday where I was jolted into the early morning with the endless media coverage of the terrible massacre at the movie theater in nearby Aurora in place of the morning news and weather there were some great things in my life.  Dinner with my younger daughter at the restaurant my oldest was working, and then picking up the older one after what was her last shift before heading off to college and going for dessert were not only enjoyable as normal, they were pleasurable diversions from reality. 

It’s a new day in Colorado.  

But what is that reality?  I have received a number of messages from friends as it appears are many others who live here in Colorado.  I will no doubt hear all about it from my father later tonight when I call home to Australia.  How can we choose to live here with all this pointless violence seemingly endlessly going on?  Another expat friend of mine (from Europe) was talking to me yesterday and fielding these same questions from home, to which he had replied, “it can happen anywhere – even in supposedly safe places like Norway”.  I’m glad in a way it didn’t cross my mind not to go about the normal sorts of things we do as a family last night, but I completely understand that for some people, that was not possible.  It did not really occur to me at all in some ways that what was “normal” had been disturbed until as we were driving home from dessert and past a theater, there were several police cars parked outside.  Then the reality hits – just as it did after 9/11 for example – the world is not the same… Certainly not here in Colorado and probably not in many other places either.

It’s a new day in Colorado.  

So what of today… This morning as usual, I was the first up and pottering about the house.  In time, my girls roused themselves and surprisingly at the appointed time, we left to grab breakfast at one of our favorite haunts.  Then they set off into town – on their own.  I thought about that driving home from the restaurant – life goes on – life needs to go on.  In three weeks my oldest will leave home for college – life goes on.  And yet the doubts can get to you.  Yesterday got to me.  In theory I suppose, my faith should shield me from that.  I’m OK that it does not completely – I’m also grateful that it helps tremendously.  It is odd nonetheless that my oldest has set off on her own (without her parents – obviously not completely on her own) to places like South East Asia, Haiti and most recently, the Dominican Republic and I am completely at peace with that.  But the next time she goes to the midnight premiere of a movie, I will probably have some discomfort.  Life was not always comfortable before yesterday.  Life will go on…

It’s a new day in Colorado.  

Just over a year ago, we as a family, along with some close friends experienced a riot.  We were in Vancouver – another safe place – trust me – if you’ve never been to Canada – its safe – they are sooooo nice!  I go there a lot and it’s nice – I take my family and friends – and what do you know – a hockey game ends badly for the home team and a riot breaks out.  OK, it wasn’t just any hockey game, it was the deciding game 7 of the Stanley cup finals – not convinced – never mind – it is a big deal in Canada.  But the point of all that is not so much the riot, but the amazing outpouring of sadness mixed with hope in the city the next day.  There was a spirit in that outpouring that said “this was not us” and I think that is where we are today in Colorado.  I am glad my children saw the response the day after. 

It’s a new day in Colorado.  

The lives of the families and friends of the 12 people who have tragically lost their lives are forever altered by the events of last night.  The lives of the families and friends of over 50 or so others who were wounded, several of whom are in critical condition are probably in some way, forever altered by the events of last night.  Similarly, the terror for many others, even if they were physically unharmed, some perhaps who were not even in the theater will for a long time, maybe even forever, alter their lives.  And I suspect that no matter what they have seen, the responders on the scene and the trauma staff in the hospitals are affected.  One of my few other life jolting days was the first (and thankfully only) time I was a first responder at an accident which resulted in a fatality – I can’t begin to imagine what it is like on a scene like that.  I have no words for these people, no explanations either, but the events that transpired yesterday in Colorado are not the norm at all.  We will not have boards to write our response to this tragedy on, but I do hope to attend a gathering somewhere today or tomorrow and along with sharing in the sorrow of those who have lost so much, stand in solidarity with other in declaring in one voice, “this is not us”!  

It’s a new day in Colorado.  

Yesterday in the Denver area alone (based on recent statistical averages), close to 200 children were born.  It follows that today; another 200 odd followed them into the world, and tomorrow there will be more.  We have a choice about the world they come into, the world they will grow up in.  The title of this blog is from a recent Eagles song, penned as I understand in response to 9/11 and while the band were delayed recording an album due to that tragedy.  This song rattled around in my head yesterday – I suppose I was not unique in that.  I hope the web-link lasts (one never knows with these things on the internet) as Don Henley actually talks a little about the events leading up to it.  But if not, then I’ve included the lyrics below.  Yes – yesterday there was a hole in the world.  Today is a new day – and while that does not mean something like this will never happen again (although I hope and pray that it does not), I will move forward in my life, believing that forgiveness and love has the capacity to overcome fear and evil.

Concerning that, I guess it is oddly coincidental that I shared the following quotes from acquaintances I’ve connected with over the past year or so with another friend on Thursday - they remain true today - and perhaps have a stronger hold on me...

“God does have a way of combating evil. It’s not punishment and it’s not retaliation, fear or anger. It’s forgiveness. Forgiveness is God’s way of combating evil” - Nadia Bolz-Weber

“Love doesn't need to win because it is not competing with hate. It already won at Calvary. We are here to simply let the world know that.” - Jeremy Ritch

In Vancouver, they now have a museum type exhibit with some of the boards saved after the shop windows were replaced so people will remember, and perhaps choose to act better in the future.  What we will remember will largely be in our hearts – but it will be even more important in choosing how we live tomorrow.

Hole in the World

 

There's a hole in the world tonight.

There's a Cloud of fear and sorrow.

There's a hole in the world tonight.

Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.

They say that anger is just love disappointed.

They say that love is just a state of mind,

But all this fighting over who will be anointed.

Oh how can people be so blind.

There's a hole in the world tonight.

There's a Cloud of fear and sorrow.

There's a hole in the world tonight.

Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.

Oh they tell me there's a place over yonder,

Cool water running through the burning sand,

Until we learn to love one another

We will never reach the promise land.

There's a hole in the world tonight.

There's a Cloud of fear and sorrow.

There's a hole in the world tonight.

Don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.

Don Henley and Glenn Frey

The Last Time You Pick Up Your Child

I get a daily email from “All Pro Dad”.  I signed up for this after reading Tony Dungy’s book on vacation a little over two years ago.  I started blogging that same vacation, but I doubt the two are connected.  The title of this blog was the title of their email yesterday with the following short thought:

If you stop and think about it, there will come a day when you will pick up your young child for the last time. And you won’t even know it.  But, soon in the future, they’ll be too big for you to lift.  So if you have young children, pick them up often.  Hug them.  Kiss them.  Savor it all.  These days will be gone before you know it. 

I don’t necessarily agree with all their thoughts, ideas or suggestions, but that’s hardly the point of this blog.  It struck me as more of an interesting coincidence that I had checked in earlier in the morning on Facebook from the Denver Diner where I was about to have breakfast with Mallory, our oldest.  It occurred to me as I posted that this might be the last of so many regular breakfast dates we have had at least monthly over many years before school (and separately also with Jillian, our youngest).  

It has evolved over time – when they were little, it was more of a weekend thing where I would take them to McDonalds which served a double purpose of hanging out with them and letting their mother sleep in (one of her favorite things).  Yes – even though I loathe McDonalds – it is hard to beat their playland for the little ones.  Initially I remember doing this with a work colleague Bob and his daughter Kat.  

As Jillian grew, and probably somewhat coincidentally about the time we moved to Australia when Jillian was three, it would mostly be with the two of them together.  Occasionally but probably not often before we left Australia, we started doing it on a school morning.  Since returning to Colorado 5+ years ago, it has been a regular planned date before school, each of them on their own, and at least once a month.  It has been important to me to make this time with my girls.  

So two weeks from today, Mallory will be done with high school and it is off to college.  We will probably continue to have our breakfast dates, but it is going to be evolving again.  So when I read this email from All Pro Dad, it struck me kind of hard.  We have enjoyed these dates.  Yesterday was no different – we chatted about nothing of great significance.  We talked about finals, her friends who have been house-sitting with her this past week, plans for her mission trip to the Dominican Republic this summer, mother’s day gifts, the vacation we have planned after school is out, my next work trip, her work schedule, plans for the weekend, the Denver Nuggets and so on.  As I said; nothing of great significance but yet all so vitally important.  Not because world changing events will necessarily happen as a result, but because we spent time chatting, investing in each others lives.

And then we were done, I paid the bill, kissed her on the cheek, and she was gone…

UPDATE October 19, 2012

The events of the last week or so brought this post back to my mind.  And not as you might think if you know I live in Denver in the shadow of the terrible tragedy of the loss of 10 year old Jessica Ridgeway - I think I am still in the denial phase of some sort of grief response on that - there are simply no words...

No, these were closer to home, more personal.

One of my best friends lost his father to cancer last Friday.  We all knew this was inevitable and coming soon.  I have no idea how you are supposed to deal with these things, but his wife was up in the mountains earlier in the week for a few days helping as had many of the family with the care in least days.  So I figured I grab some scotch (well Stranahans whiskey - a fine local drop that reminds me more of scotch than bourbon), a couple of cigars, head on over and see how things go.  We enjoyed a shot or two of scotch, but passed on the cigars this particular evening.  We talked about everything - an we talked about nothing.  Perhaps the discussion that got me the most was about the fishing trips to Willis Lake.  My friend now takes his "boys" (most are sons in law) up there say every other year - but when he was a boy, he, his brothers and his dad went every year - from 1955 to 1992.  He said thinking about things made this year's trip hard.  I went up to the mountains and attended the funeral yesterday.  It was a beautiful fall day - even the somewhat gusty winds couldn't take away the majesty that are the mountains of Colorado.  I stayed into the late hours of the afternoon getting to know more of his family that I had not met before (his is as large as Joy's - one of 8 kids if that helps those who don't know us as well) and allowing myself the communion of one beer at the wake before hitting the road home.  I am glad for friends like this and the mutual investment in each others lives and families that in this case now spans 16 years.

    (not my photo - credit to a guy named Steve)

The other event is less about investing in lives.  Mallory came home for fall break later in the week.  I picked her up from the airport and we went to "Grammies" for breakfast of scrumptious made from scratch (literally - this woman probably ground the flour) waffles and crab apple sauce (from trees in the front yard).  Then after dropping me at work, she headed off to start a fabulous weekend of catching up with friends.  And it was so great to have all those girls enjoying time together including a sleepover in our house again.  What I was not expecting though in the passage of this fun filled weekend was a call from one of those friends a few hours into her first day back saying they had been in an accident.  Some guy from out of town and looking at his GPS apparently veered hard into their lane shoving them off the road and into a substantial concrete median strip.  Both airbags had popped and Mallory was receiving medical attention - her arm hurt.  Fortunately both Mallory and her friend were wearing seat belts, and the sore arm was little more than a memory the next day.  They say lucks a fortune... I spent over $1,200 on that car the day before.  The car will almost certainly be a write off but Mallory and her friend (we joke her friends are like adopted daughters) are totally OK.  I'll take that outcome any day... but it does remind you "Hug them.  Kiss them.  Savor it all." 

Oh - and it also provided a valuable life lesson on why a scooter while very cute might not be such a great idea :)

Musings on Good Friday...

I was all out of sorts this morning, which was more than a little disturbing.  It was not because my wife and older daughter were heading to Chicago for a girls getaway – I will miss them – but I’m going to have a lot of fun hanging out with just my younger daughter.  It was because I didn’t have to go to work.  Although Good Friday is not all that widespread a holiday in the USA (which seems an odd if not ironic contrast to my upbringing in much more unchurched Australia), this year, we were graciously given the day off.  Have I become that dependent on work?  Am I a workaholic?  Scary stuff…

Anyway, I got over that quick enough and have been pottering around the house taking care of this and that.  This post is an expansion of some of the quotes I have favorited away on Facebook/Twitter from various friends.  I posted them on my Facebook page and re-tweeted them as a #gf rather than #ff as I mused on what Good Friday is all about.  In this post, along with the quote, I may – or may not depending on my mood, explain why the quote meant something to me.

“Personally, I don't have the guts to follow Jesus, so I often settle for being a Christian.”

unknown, via Brandon Mouser

So if you saw my original list on Facebook it is obvious I am reordering it.  There is probably no particular significance to the order in either – it just appeals to my sense of chaos.  Brandon is a neat young man introduced to me through the roots that have me writing under the Monica “Ruined for Life”.  He is the son-in-law of an amazing couple, Ron and Nancy Thaxton who have loved, challenged, cared and pastored my wife and I since the early days of our marriage nearly 20 years ago in West Virginia.  I’m pretty sure Brandon said this, but claimed to be quoting an unknown source.  It sounds like he would have something the guts to say though so that fact it resonated with him is not surprising.  I suspect for many of us willing to be honest about our faith, this could resonate equally strongly.  Today of all days, I am reminded of the gap between the Jesus who is, and the person I am.  That is why I am leading with this quote.

“Love is not a victory march. It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah”

Leonard Cohen ( via Jodi-Renee Adams)

Have always loved this song – and I am simply unable to express why there is something in this statement that resonates so strongly in me with Good Friday.  So what I will say is that I think one of my favorite renditions of it was KD Lang at the 2010 winter Olympics opening ceremony in Vancouver.  I suspect I would enjoy hearing Jodi sing is also.

SUPERGROUP!

“God doesn't love you because God loves everyone. God loves you because God loves you.”

Khad Young

“God doesn't want something from us. He simply wants us.” - CS Lewis

“There was never a time when God was not in love.”

Brennan Manning (via Mary Kathryn Tyson)

“No matter what ANYONE says; you are worthy! God loves you. No matter how shitty we've been.”

Jon Hedgecorth

“God is closer than we are to ourselves: nothing is more intimate than God's love.”

Henri Nouwen

“God is not in love with a future version of us... He loves us right where we are today.”

Billy Lloyd

I would not want you to think from my earlier comment on the gap between the Jesus who is, and the person I am that I am I see myself as some hopeless wretch.  I would also not want you to think I think more highly of myself than I ought.  But this to me is central to the events we mark this day.  I hear often that “God loves us more than we could ever deserve”.  I get the point, but I’m not sure it’s great theology.

In a recent discussion sparked by Frank Paul Green, adjunct faculty at George Fox Seminary, Franks opening discussion on this notion included the point that

“"God so loved the world" is the greatest statement concerning value, significance and worthiness. To suggest otherwise would be an oxymoron ... a self-contradiction.”

My response to this is that I think at its narrowest, I had to ask myself this - if I do not deserve God's love, then how do my children deserve mine?  The later question is of course preposterous - and recognizing that the world is imperfect and sadly, even tragically for some, this idea that I do not deserve my parents love has been a cruel reality, I think for many, perhaps most, the idea framed in this way would suggest what I deserve has nothing to do with whether OR how much God loves me.

I’m not a theologian so all of this needs to be taken with a grain of salt, but to extend the argument further, if God loves me more than I deserve, how is that just.  If God is not just, is he God at all?  Pretty soon we are getting into the really murky waters that even trained theologians fear to tread.  And so to my next quote…

“Every time theologians tell us what God can and cannot do, is or is not, they create an idol – an impression of an aspect of God that they can understand because it has limits. But God has no such limits.”

Neil Christopher

and related to this…

"Never think you need to protect God. Anytime you think you need to protect God, you can be sure that you are worshiping an idol." - Hauerwas

Simply this – I have no idea why Jesus did what he did?  It seems like the most extravagant gesture.  Was it really because he loved me; the singular me; that much, in spite of the presumption that I don’t deserve it?  I really don’t know.  But I will say this.  I really don’t believe the central purpose of Jesus coming to earth was to die for our collective or my personal sin.  He came to restore relationship with all of us – all with no exceptions – because of this unfathomable (and if it must be so to you, undeserved) love.  The cross was how he achieved this purpose – not the point or the purpose itself. 

GAMECHANGERS

“Love doesn't need to win because it is not competing with hate. It already won at Calvary. We are here to simply let the world know that.”

Jeremy Ritch

“God does have a way of combating evil. It’s not punishment and it’s not retaliation, fear or anger. It’s forgiveness. Forgiveness is God’s way of combating evil.”

Nadia Bolz-Weber

WOW!  Just let these soak in –let them stir your soul and you figure it out. 

DOUBLING BACK

“I didn’t go to religion to be happy. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I don’t recommend Christianity.”
CS Lewis

“Kinda over Christianity but I love Jesus.”
Rebecca Bec Cranford-Smith

You think there was any way to order these quotes!?!  In truth, they are an incredibly interwoven mass of ideas in my mind, and that’s just fine with me.  Sorry if none of this makes any sense to you – but I’m guessing if it was too crazy, you wouldn’t still be reading…  Doubling back then simply to say that these have close ties to my opening gambit; that I don't have the guts to follow Jesus, so I often settle for being a Christian.  Carry on…

(Oh – and I may be the first person to quote Bec as “Cranford-Smith” – congrats Bec J )

“Life is short and fragile. Love wastefully.” - Crystal Lewis

How much simpler could you emulate Good Friday than this…

“What if when Jesus said, "do good to those that oppose you & spitefully abuse you" he meant... do good to those that oppose you & abuse you?”

John Jensen

An object lesson – we say stuff like this, but we do the opposite.  Our own misplaced sense of our rights has us constantly at odds with people with whom we disagree, who disagree with us, or whom we just plain cannot stand.  Jesus spoke of a different way, and his actions on this day showed he meant it.  Sometimes it’s so much easier to settle for being a Christian…

“Soon we must all face the choice between doing what is right and what is easy.”

Albous Dumbledour / JK Rowling

When I watched Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ (something I have only done in whole once), I was struck whether intentionally by the moviemakers take on things or not during the carrying of the cross that as much as Jesus may have been tempted in his 40 day sojourn at the beginning of his ministry, perhaps it paled compared to the temptation he must have felt at this point.  Got nothing to back it up – just a thought…

“God's care for humanity was so great that he sent his unique Son among us, so that those who count on him might not lead a futile and failing existence, but have the undying life of God Himself.”

John 3:16 Dallas Willard translation

Thank you!

And now someone else words in song
Beautiful Scandalous Night