Many sides to every story

Vacations are great!  I find time to read, an old familiar pastime too often elusive these recent years.

I just finished a fascinating book providing a history of an Apache massacre.  Before you misread that, this was a massacre of approximately 150 Apache people - many women and children.  The massacre is known as the Camp Grant Massacre (or “affair” depending on who was describing it).  The book was written as a history of 4 different people groups involved so explored the incident from the different perspectives.  It was not an easy read, but it was a different presentation in terms of structure and well written, consequently, it was not hard to read either.

But the actual story I was reading notwithstanding - think about how many conflicts involve a number of points of view.  Especially those that go on for many years, decades, even generations.  And then let this closing paragraph from the book soak in to your consciousness.  Let is wash over your soul.  Think about how this might fit in the conflicts in your life and relationships.

“Given the obstacles to merging these fragile and diverse forms of storytelling into a single tale, it is, paradoxically, by venturing in the opposite direction -- by listening for the silences between accounts; by discovering what each genre of recordkeeping cannot tell us -- that we can capture most fully the human struggle to understand our elusive past. What this past asks of us in return is a willingness to recount all our stories -- our darkest tales as well as our most inspiring ones -- and to ponder those stories that violence has silenced forever. For until we recognize our shared capacity for inhumanity, how can we ever hope to tell stories of our mutual humanity?”

― Karl Jacoby, Shadows at Dawn: A Borderlands Massacre and the Violence of History

 

Interestingly I was in Tucson just over a week ago. I looked at a map to see if I could perhaps find my way over to Aravaipa Canyon (site of the massacre) early in the morning before we had to set off to the meetings of the day. I realized quickly that it was a good hour from where I was staying, and that was not practical.  But I hope one day soon when I am back in Tucson, to be there at dawn and listen for the silence.

 
"To the Lakota, to the Indian,

        when you listen, you're praying.

                That's a form of prayer, when you listen."

- Russell Means

Related theme in a fashion... 

Listening to a Different Voice - Russell Means

Reflections from the Christensen Family in Littleton

This was written as a Christmas letter just before I started blogging. It was such an eventful year for us full of emotional highs and lows. We sang a song a week ago in church that has meant so much to me in the wake of the events of just on a year ago when our sister in law Karla went home to our only true home in heaven - Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redmann. Then on the web journal / blog of a good friend Phil McCallum, there it was again. It made me think of what I had written, and decided to use it as the subject matter of a blog, trying to be a little creative with music video as that had been a theme in the letter. Now if you were not as inept as I at the art of blogging and such, you could probably make the music video links pop up in a new window. But me - not so much, so you'll just have to hit the back button after the video to return to the blog. Enjoy...

What an interesting year this has been. It seems to have flown by such as the days do when you have so much going on you fall into bed exhausted at the end of them. So as in years past, here is a snapshot of our 2009. Some of you will have been very close to our goings on, and for others well, maybe we will get to see more of you next year. As our friends are scattered all over the world however, this is just the way of things.

An early highlight was a weekend in the mountains with three other families near the Sol Vista ski resort. It is after all not just what you do, but who you do it with that matters. The Ezman, Papay and Wilkin families have become an intimate part of our life and this was a fun weekend of skiing, kids being kids, cards, and just hanging out.


And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again

Time - Pink Floyd

Somewhere about this time, we also threw an “Australia Day” party. We invited people to come as you would if you were in Australia (where January means sweltering midsummer heat) and a good number rose to the occasion venturing out in beachwear or Steve Irwin attire on a chilly winters evening. Peter did “prawns on the barbie”, we served vegemite on toast and fairy bread – and a good time was had by all.

Our family suffered a terrible loss early in the year with the sudden and unexpected passing of our sister in-law Karla. No matter what we believe and how strong our faith, we all struggle with an event like this. Perhaps the words of her oldest daughter Courtney say it best…

"There was a plan for my mom's life, and I believe that it's still in the works (it'll be a legacy). There's not been a single mistake in any of this. I am so blessed to see firsthand God's grace, comfort, peace, and most of all, organization. He is good, and his fruits endure, even in the midst of tragedy."

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

But these stories don't mean anything

When you've got no one to tell them to

It's true...I was made for you

The Story - Brandi Carlile

This year the girls saw their first snow days – which meant they got to spend not 1, but 2 days just before spring break snuggled up at home, instead of at school. Joy thinks Peter knows something he is not telling as he was out of town (stranded as flights into Denver were mostly cancelled) not only for this sump of heavy spring snow, but also when it happened AGAIN in the fall! Oh well – shoveling is good exercise and the driveway thankfully is not too long (easy for Peter to say when he is stuck in Dallas!). The puppies love the fresh snow – but then they don’t do any shoveling either.

Well we have been back in Denver and in our own home for two years so we embarked on our first major home renovation project. We love to entertain – there is something special about bringing people together from all the diverse parts of our lives in informal gatherings and just seeing what happens. But our kitchen was frankly, not very well laid out – and as everybody knows – parties invariably congregate around the kitchen. The new kitchen is largely in thanks to a lot of help and great advice from Joy’s brother Jeff and our brother in-law Mike. It looks great and gives that part of the house a completely different feel. Peter still has some trim and finish work to do – and now that the weather has turned colder; and outdoor pursuits such as hockey, soccer and golf are pretty much done for a while; this will soon be underway. Joy LOVES her new kitchen!

But there never seems to be enough time


To do the things that you want to do


Once you find them

Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce


Sport is something Peter enjoys, something Jillian seems to inherited from him, and if it involves a social aspect – something Mallory can also enjoy. This year Jilly got back into field hockey bringing a new dimension to our lives. In May she played with an under 12 mixed team from Colorado in the “Cal Cup” a large tournament in LA. The kids did amazingly well, competing mostly against club teams who have been together for some time and were only just held out finishing runners up. She and two other girls from this team were invited to play with a high school team (girls 3-6 years older) in the Colorado State games where they also finished runners up (Peter played with an adult team in this tournament also – they did not fare so well!). After playing in some summer programs, Jilly was nominated for the US Field Hockey Association “Futures Program” which will be some top level coaching – and more weekends come the new year – oh well – she loves it. Mallory decided to give field hockey a go also (having played one season in Australia) and played on the JV team for Golden high school. She had a great time, making new friends as she always does, and even picked up a few skills along the way. Both girls are now playing in a winter indoor league.

My best friend gave me the best advice

He said each day's a gift and not a given right

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind

And try to take the path less traveled by

That first step you take is the longest stride

If Today Was Your Last Day - Nickleback

If this song lyric fits anyone in our family, it would be Mallory. Mal informed us at the beginning of the year that she really wanted to go on a missions trip – didn’t know where – didn’t know what she would be doing – but she wanted to do it. She has a sensitive spirit and a genuine desire to care for others. This led to her spending almost 8 weeks this summer with a team that went to Haiti to assist in building an orphanage for Hope in the Light Ministry. Her team was organized and prepared through a youth short term mission organization, Teen Missions International. It should come as no surprise that going from our comfortable middle class life in an American suburb, to working (hard) in one of the poorest nations in the world was an eye opening and life changing experience. We were fortunate that we could tie into her initial training in Florida by going out with here a week in advance and enjoying a relaxing family holiday at Cocoa beach.

While Mal was in Haiti, some extremely affordable tickets were available for travel to Australia, and this turned into a 2nd unplanned family vacation in the short gap between Mal coming back from Haiti, Jilly’s summer of hockey, and the start of the school year. We had such a great time – Brisbane provided the best mid winter weather imaginable, the kids got to go to the Ekka (a huge “state fair”) and we spent a lot of time enjoying the company of family and friends. We were truly blessed to have been able to do this and that if fit into an otherwise crazy summer schedule.


Since the resumption of school, we have Joy working quite a lot as a substitute teacher, Peter and Joy operating a 24/7 taxi service (although Mallory will have her drivers license learners permit next week – can you believe that), the girls involvement in soccer, hockey, choir, piano and of course a jam packed social schedule and once in a while, Peter and Joy enjoying some adult company – either with each other or with some of the many good friends we have made or reconnected with in returning to Denver.

God has woven an incredible web for our lives with friends; reconnecting with ones from West Virginia, Farmington, and Australia. We enjoyed spending some time in Oklahoma to celebrate the wedding of Laurel and Chris – Laurel being the daughter of Phil and Leslie, pastors of an amazing church we were part of in Australia. We also were able to spend some time on this trip with Joy’s older brother Jerry who lives in Tulsa – and are very much looking forward to an unprecedented third family vacation in Cancun just before Christmas with most of Joy’s family to celebrate Jerry’s 50th.

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be Your name

And blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

You give and take away You give and take away

My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name

I will bless Your name

Blessed Be Your Name - Matt Redman

Our blessings this year – even a year of great loss - have been many. As Mallory got to see firsthand in Haiti – we are amazingly blessed to live in the comfort we do. We have been blessed also by the birth of Reese, Mike and Jenny’s first child and our youngest nephew. And we look forward to the arrival of the next generation – our oldest niece Courtney and her husband Adam are expecting their first in the New Year.

We hope and pray this Christmas will be merry and blessed for you.

Peter, Joy, Mallory and Jillian

Part 2 - Making A New Home

From a work perspective, moving to Denver certainly was an amazing opportunity. From growing up on a farm outside a small town, I don’t think I would have ever imagined that at 25 I would be managing someone else’s business on the other side of the world. Rightly or wrongly, my dreams were never that big – and perhaps to my discredit, still are not. And an amazing opportunity it certainly was. I got to broaden my experience which at that time had mostly been confined to Australia with a few jaunts to Asia to working all over the United States, and in addition travelling and working in Canada, Mexico, Columbia and South Africa.

This is not to say it was all wine and roses. I was only 25, had little business experience, and in particular, no experience at least in a professional sense managing a team of people, all of whom other than the receptionist were older than myself. I made many mistakes, but found that group of people at Exploration Computer Services to be for the most part extremely forgiving. They were more than willing to offer advice (which certainly in some cases translates “told me what I was doing wrong”), but I think for the most part, I was willing to listen and over time we formed a solid team and friendships or at least familiar acquaintances which have lasted to this day.

It has been a real pleasure to be working again professionally with Lori who I know I rubbed the wrong way possibly most of all in the early days. I have also enjoyed getting back in touch and even the occasional get together since being back in Denver with office managers Robyn (Chapman) Parker and Tammy Joyce, and other engineers Kim Knerr, Dereck Prince and Bev Zabel. In time I may track down the others.

Shortly after arriving, I found a church to be a part of. Believers Christian Fellowship met close to my office at Colorado Christian University. The idea of a Christian university was certainly unfamiliar in my Australian experience, and although I probably expected there to be quite a lot of young people, there really wasn’t. None the less, it felt like the right place to be, the teaching was solid and so I settled in. One of the people I met early on turned out to manage an apartment complex just across the road from the university campus. Figuring that even if there were college students living there, being a Christian University it would not be like living near the university I went to, and the rent was affordable, I moved into my first apartment. Oh – I was somewhat wrong about the students thing – but on the whole they were OK! The world is so small now though as I have since connected with Pam (Eflin) Healy who was a neighbor from back then on FaceBook. I did become good friends though with a young couple Stu and Lori Sprecher who were about my age. Stu was later to be one of my groomsmen.

I travelled a lot with work. Seemed like for a while I was going to West Virginia every other week, Texas a lot of the weeks in-between, and then just to break up the monotony, a couple of weeks in South Africa. That trip was truly amazing. It was before Mandela was freed and the country came under majority rule. I felt safe enough although I guess there was a certain amount of tension. One of the things I have enjoyed travelling the world is worshipping in a strange country. At least this was in English, although there is something special about having little understanding of the words, yet full comprehension of the message they convey. Worship in any language is a universal language. With South Africa still under apartheid, there were no direct flights and while this seemed to me to be a petty and pointless gesture, especially given the racial problems in some parts of the US but it meant having to fly via London – so I took a week off and had a look around the UK. One of the fringe benefits of the job I guess.

While much of the travelling of course involved flying, I love to drive. As my wife will agree we got our male/female stereotypes crossed up there. Joy just likes to get there – me – I like the scenic routes. My first big road trip was from Denver to just south of Houston. I was part of a choir (that probably has a few of year shaking your heads) performing an Australian composed oratorio put on by friends Lee and Debbie Lemson who I connected with from prior church connections in Australia. One weekend (I think there were 4 performances over 2 weekends) I tacked it onto one of those many work trips to Texas – the other – well I just drove down. I got a speeding ticket just a few miles from Bay City – destination of that weekends concerts. I figured the policeman would be understanding – I had a lot to learn about how small US towns raise revenue. And I guess in hindsight, a young guy, driving a sports car registered 1,200 miles away, claiming to be in a hurry to get to a concert in rural Texas. Hadn’t really thought of it from that angle until just now – probably wouldn’t have believed me either…

About that time I also remember having a week in West Virginia, followed by a week in Texas. Steve Jacobs who was looking after my car back in Sydney (remember I was only going for 18 months – seriously) was in Philadelphia doing something with Honeywell. So instead of going home for the weekend, I went to Philly and had a great time catching up with Steve and checking out some American icons – Valley Forge and the Liberty Bell stand out. Luggage didn’t make it to Texas but you got to love 24/7 stores (unless you work for one maybe). Shopping for clothes and toiletries late on a rainy Sunday night in East Texas at a 24 hour drug store – just another part of the American experience.

Settling in at Believers was not hard. In the fall, this big guy Todd Lansing organized a softball team. I figured that wasn’t too different to cricket – how hard could it be so put my name down. I learned three things at least. 1: Playing 3rd base, you are not supposed to catch line drives with your bare hand – and certainly not twice off the same guy in the same game. I remember Jim Tisdall coming over from short stop and asking what exactly I said after the 2nd one – lucky it wasn’t a church league. 2. If they throw a poor wide pitch, you are not allowed to step toward it to pound it – at least not if it involves stepping on home plate – you’re OUT. Stupid rule. 3. There was this kind of cute girl with really long hair and just a little bit of competitive spirit – I remember her stamping her foot in disgust one time she got struck out. More on her later…

A week or two into softball season, I got stuck on a trip to West Virginia. I called Todd to let him know I couldn’t make it. I think that kind of made an impression – most people who for some reason or other were not going to turn up from just down the road didn’t bother to call. Seemed the right thing to do and I think was the start of a lifelong friendship. But fringe benefits strike again – figured no point going home the next morning – off to spend a weekend exploring Baltimore and Washington DC.

There were two more events that stick in my mind from that first year. Football season rolls around and Todd and his lovely wife Denise tended most Sundays to end up at her mom and dad’s place to watch the Broncos. Dennis and Marge Farmer are amazing folk – Dennis to me became a spiritual father / mentor over the next few years. I am sure in no small way he has been a big influence on the husband and father I strive to be. Anyway there must have been quite a bunch of us there one Sunday and I think we realized most of the younger adults were born in ’64. We jokingly decided we should form a club and do something which turned into a weekend retreat for any young adults from Believers at the YMCA Snow Mountain Ranch camp near Winter Park. Todd and I learned to ski that weekend. Good friends Frank Muehlbauer and Jim Tisdall patiently spent the day coaxing Todd and I down the slopes. I still love skiing – have never tried it anywhere but Colorado. Guess once you’ve tasted heaven, nothing else is ever the same.

The last was my first Christmas in the USA. This was not my first Christmas away from home, but it was certainly the furthest away I had been. Another road trip was in order to spend this special day at the home of Debbie Lemson’s folks in Drexel Missouri. This means driving across Kansas. I don’t know why I didn’t learn the first time – YOU DON”T NEED TO DO THIS MORE THAN ONCE! Good times.

to be continued…

I Love the Beach

I grew up several miles from the Coral Sea in northern Australia. Some of my fondest memories as a boy are tied to the sea. I remember riding my bike from our farm to a saltwater inlet to fish or catch crabs - crab pots balanced precariously on my handlebars. I remember late nights sitting on docks with fishing and other boyhood friends as I got older, probably smoking cigarettes. I remember the awesome Mangrove Jack I caught one time camping with the Boy Scouts - and how good it tasted cooked over an open fire soon after.

I think though that one of the powerful ties I have to the beach and the sea beyond is it holds some of my fondest memories of doing things with my dad. Family day trips to Clifton Beach or Palm Cove were a regular. Often this would be with other family friends and there would be a hoard of us kids playing on the sand and in the water. We also holidayed at the beach on occasion with our trusty caravan towed endless dusty miles by our old “Kingswoods”. One of these, again with several other families at Rose Bay near Bowen included several games of hockey on the beach and led to my taking up the sport and lifelong enjoyment of it. There were late nights with my dad alone on the waters of Smith Creek catching prized mud crabs from our small dinghy using “dilly” pots some of which dad had woven the mesh himself. We also had a larger 20 ft boat we would take to the reef. Often this was with two or three of dad’s workmates so I felt very grown up to be out with them on 1-2 night trips. One of my funniest memories is hearing a loud splash followed by my dad yelling as we were stirring one morning in a mainland bay we used to come into late in the night to shelter and catch a few hours sleep. Dad was in the water holding onto the anchor rope with one hand, and the bow rail with the other. He had ventured up to take a leak, and the screws holding the rail to the deck had given out as dad leaned on it.

Now with a family of my own, we still enjoy time at the beach. Today we will pack and leave the shores of Cancun, but not before taking one last morning walk along the beach. My bride says I am to wake her for this one so we can go together. Joy loves being at the beach although has some misgivings about sand - and early mornings. This week then is the perfect compromise of ocean views from our deck, a pool that almost spills into the sea, and lots of other family here with us so some mornings were free from the noise of stirring children.

Mallory my oldest loves the beach as much as I do. One of my favorite memories of this year was a morning walk with her on the beach in Florida the day we dropped her at the Teen Missions base so she could spend most of the rest of her summer vacation with a team serving the poor in Haiti. I do not know what we talked about as we ambled along the waters edge, stopping here to pick up a shell, or there to reshape the beach with our feet and watch the water rework it. I just remember spending the time doing it.

Wandering along the water's edge is definitely one of my favorite things to do at the beach. There is something about the energy in play as the waves and the land relentlessly collide. At that point I feel like I am seeing the hand of God as he reworks the shoreline - not because it is imperfect, but because he is infinitely creative. I also feel the awesome power of God is on display. In my career in the mining industry, I have seen many millions of cubic meters of earth moved around - at some single mines, approaching a rate of a million cubic meters a day. This takes a lot of effort and yet God moves this much material around at the shoreline every day - effortlessly - that is amazing. Energy is a big deal these days, especially how we produce it. We use a lot and yet there is probably more energy at work in the tide and the waves than all our power plants and oil consumption combined. Incredible!

Here in Cancun the beach has been badly eroded by hurricanes in recent years. Mexico contains contrasts often more evident than in the USA or Australia although the same extremes in poverty exist there too. So it is somewhat difficult to watch (with an engineers curiosity – I’ll spare you the details) the reconstruction of the beach by the local authorities, no doubt at considerable expense so well off holiday makers like myself can relax in a tropical paradise. A rather sanitized tropical paradise at that – not here on the hotel strip do you see the hovels, the potholed streets, the beggars, the stray dogs, or the trash you find with little effort in other areas. Even the beach is raked off by hotel staff to ensure our vacation is perfect.

But this is not a simple question. Take away the attraction, the illusion of tropical paradise and the tourists may stop coming. What then for the thousands of hotel and tourism industry employees? This question is in no ways and attempt to justify the expense or our being able to enjoy the week we have just had. It is what it is - a question ... no easy answers, no simple solutions. I wonder how many of these complex questions do I overlook without a moments thought - safe in my comfortable life and the fortress of my own opinion?

And what of the beach? It carries on in an endless state of flux. We make our futile efforts to reshape it and bend it to our needs, but the wind and the waves in the end prevail – we hold sway for only a moment in time.