Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Do I Really See Them At All

You just have to just love this Pope Francis guy...

I say this because of a thought provoking NY Times article that I think warrants being shared.  Summed up in the title is the Pope’s take on giving to those less fortunate… 

I think for many and certainly myself, but regardless of your faith view, the question of how do I see other people – do I see some groups of other people as less than – or can I honestly say I always see all people as equal is not something I get a perfect report card on.

Do I really see them as my faith teaches, as being made in the image of god – Imago Dei?  Because if I truly saw people – all people – in that way, then I could never see them as “less than”.

In this conversation with the Pope, the challenge especially when dealing with the homeless as some of the poorest of the poor I will encounter on a regular basis, is do I see them at all?  The truth is sometimes I do, and sometimes I do not.  Sometimes I can barely utter words as though somehow not responding at all means the interaction is not happening.  Sometimes I can spare a few bucks or food I’m carrying (leftovers usually – feeling good about sharing the scraps from my table…).  Occasionally I stop to talk.  And in the rarest instances, I find the time to share that most precious of gifts - some time and a meal.   

Things have an odd way of circling around.  We talked about this subject with a group of friends from our church in the evening.  I liked what one friend said about there being a tension - did I do too little - did I do too much - am I helping - can helping be hurting.  I can second guess myself endlessly.  This tension was something you could sense in many if not all our experiences.

Personally, I think it is both fantastic but also sometimes a real bummer to realize the tension – it seems that recognizing the tension itself creates more tension.  I do sometimes find myself, driving in traffic for example (a place I’m highly prone to be judgmental and thinking less of others), muttering to myself "image of god - imago dei", alternating with "unforced rhythms of grace... unforced rhythms of grace". I also at times mutter other things... the struggle is real!  I think it is the "unforced" part that for me keeps the tension from becoming overwhelming without in anyway denying it.  Is it enough... maybe not... maybe for today it is.  But if it is forced - then there is less room for grace.  In the end, there was grace enough for today - tomorrow there may be more, there may be less, but for today, it is enough.  

So, to summarize…
Imago Dei – we are all made equal, and in my view, in the image of a creator god.
See people – as people – really see them, take some time and see beneath the outward appearance.
Do what you feel you can, do it with grace, and don’t worry about whether or not you nailed it today – learn from it what you can for tomorrow is another day.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Jesus (Matthew’s Good News, Chap. 11, verses 28-30)

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Too much to lose

I shared my daughter Mallory’s blog earlier - so many resonating thoughts echoing around in my head and heart these past days…

Let America be America again.
Let it be the dream it used to be.
Let it be the pioneer on the plain
Seeking a home where he himself is free.

(America never was America to me.)

Foremost among them the notion shared with my daughter that I will neither mourn nor live in fear as a result of the election now culminated in the recent inauguration.  I simply cannot, life is too short.  And saying this, I in no way diminish very legitimate concerns, even fears of good friends, friends I spoke to the day after the election and again on Friday who are lesbian, trans, or otherwise marginalized… 

O, let America be America again--
The land that never has been yet--
And yet must be--the land where every man is free.
The land that's mine--the poor man's, Indian's, Negro's,

But my daughter also spoke about seeing the worst in America.  I don’t – and I do see these things.  I don’t see them as a uniquely American problem.  Americans may – to me that is the problem with some of the interpretations of American Exceptionalism – they are borne out of willful ignorance. 

Yet I'm the one who dreamt our basic dream
In the Old World while still a serf of kings,
Who dreamt a dream so strong, so brave, so true,
That even yet its mighty daring sings
In every brick and stone, in every furrow turned
That's made America the land it has become.
O, I'm the man who sailed those early seas
In search of what I meant to be my home--
For I'm the one who left dark Ireland's shore,
And Poland's plain, and England's grassy lea,
And torn from Black Africa's strand I came
To build a "homeland of the free."

I’m a strange brew perhaps.  I write this sitting in a business class seat flying to work in eastern Europe.  When I look around the airport lounge in which I find momentary peace while waiting to board the next flight to somewhere, I see white privilege demonstrated perfectly.  I’m both at ease and yet uncomfortable with it.  My early years were on a farm and we didn’t have much – I miss some of that, but I still know what it means to have enough.  I’m Australian, soon hopefully do hold dual citizenship, but I’ve been fortunate to have traveled to work on every continent, visiting some of the world’s greatest cities, and some of the poorer villages.  We’ve probably messed our children up along the way and that’s OK - the older one in particular has a gypsy spirit like mine and has already traveled extensively on her own.  Maybe this gives me the luxury of seeing things a little differently… maybe it explains her perspective.

Who made America,
Whose sweat and blood, whose faith and pain,
Whose hand at the foundry, whose plow in the rain,
Must bring back our mighty dream again.

A couple of days ago I went back to a piece by Harry Belafonte published in the NY Times the eve of the election.  It worked around themes in a well-known (and yet maybe not) poem by Langston Hughes, “Let America Be America Again”.  If you’re wondering where some of the verse strewn through this was from, wonder no more.  Belafonte contrasts the America that was at the time Hughes, a gay black man, wrote this poem in the 1930’s and now.  And he recognizes that the hard fought gains in basic rights and equality won for so many are both a huge step forward, but yet still there is much to be done.  For the truth is that the dreams laid out in the American Constitution are just that.  As President Obama pointed out in his farewell address, they are not self-executing.  They as history has proven require a lot of work to make the dream into a reality, but more importantly, they are also I would add, not self-sustaining.

Let America be the dream the dreamers dreamed--
Let it be that great strong land of love
Where never kings connive nor tyrants scheme
That any man be crushed by one above.

(It never was America to me.)

Maybe here is a subtle difference between my perspective and that of my daughter.  Belafonte refers often to what “old men know”.  I’ll grant him at 90 this to be wisdom… for me at 50ish, I’ll call it experience.  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, an adoptee of the American experiment like myself, but without the advantages in this country of being white or male, wrote shortly after the election:

America has always been aspirational to me. Even when I chafed at its hypocrisies, it somehow always seemed sure, a nation that knew what it was doing, refreshingly free of that anything-can-happen existential uncertainty so familiar to developing nations.”

I think my daughter struggles with those hypocrisies.  Maybe I have enough experience to know we will always struggle with them… but struggle we must.  I wrote to a group of people the day after the election

From a cold and rainy New York, a new day has dawned...  As I drove for four hours along the lakes from Cleveland to Rochester to get here in time for breakfast with my daughter and the team, it occurred to me that contrary to some of the commentary on the radio, we are not waking up to a different America - it is pretty much what it is - an amazing experiment that keeps evolving.  A giant American flag flying in breezy early morning light just off the interstate near Erie looked pretty much as sure of itself as ever.

Here's the thing… whatever the reasons people voted for President Trump, and I don’t believe as some of my friends that this automatically makes them bad people… whatever their reasons and motivations, those people were here when Obama was elected in 2008 and again in 2012.  Some of them voted for Obama!!!  Their motivations may have changed, but what I worry about is not that they are not in pursuit of the great American Dream, but that they think it was in the past.  That is the core of Trump’s message “Make America Great Again”- a corruption perhaps of Langston’s poem?

Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death,
The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies,
We, the people, must redeem
The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers.
The mountains and the endless plain--
All, all the stretch of these great green states--
And make America again!

I’m not down on America.  You don’t have to be perfect or great to do great things, you just have to decide to do what appears to be right and then act.  Hopefully you get it right some, maybe most of the time.  America not in isolation has a proud history of doing great things.  But I don’t want to go back to the past either.  There are better things ahead… Winning voting rights for all, ending Jim Crow, achieving full rights for women, and letting people of all genders and sexual orientations stand in the light as equals, all pointed out by Belafonte are not done deals, not even close.  These things are for now enshrined in our law (more or less), but not necessarily enshrined in how we live.  There is a huge difference here and one I found many people here in the USA who questioned my going to South Africa for a project just after Mandela was released but before the full transition from apartheid could not grasp – apartheid (oh of course we never called it that) was no longer legal in the United States in 1990, but that didn’t mean it was not still happening.

I am the poor white, fooled and pushed apart,
I am the Negro bearing slavery's scars.
I am the red man driven from the land,
I am the immigrant clutching the hope I seek--
And finding only the same old stupid plan
Of dog eat dog, of mighty crush the weak.

I like President Obama’s explanation of American exceptionalism, not that is is necessarily unique.

So that's what we mean when we say America is exceptional. Not that our nation has been flawless from the start, but that we have shown the capacity to change, and make life better for those who follow.

So I will not… We cannot sit idly by and not only watch these hard fought gains recede, in fact we must stand and be willing to fight if necessary not just to preserve what has been won, but to advance it.  And “We” to me as I study American civics in preparation to adopt citizenship of this country is incredibly important, and the reason I will neither mourn nor live in fear.  Citizenship comes with benefits and responsibilities.  And if “We the people” matters a damn, then the “certain unalienable Rights” spoken of in the Declaration of Independence and spelled out in the Constitution are still worth fighting for.  I didn’t finish this on the flight but in a lounge in Munich airport where I “awoke” to incredible pictures of assemblies not only in the United States, but all over the world where people stood up and said just this.  It warmed my soul and was both tremendously encouraging and inspiring.  President Trump was correct in his inaugural speech to say “What truly matters is not which party controls our government, but whether our government is controlled by the people.”  There is work to be done…

O, yes,
I say it plain,
America never was America to me,
And yet I swear this oath--
America will be!

You can find most of my references at the following links:

Saturday, December 24, 2016


Seasons change with the scenery

                         Weaving time in a tapestry

                                             Won't you stop and remember me…

Tumultuous seems a fitting word for the year.  Time passes quickly and events seems to overwhelm us like those certain waves crashing down on the beach leaving us reeling, not knowing which way is up but when we come up for breath, although a little dazed, the sun is still shining.

The year started with Peter losing a job with the continued downturn in the mining industry, but fortunately, the writing there was on the wall and another opportunity had already presented itself.  The couple of week gap between jobs in the end couldn’t have come at a better time with our old house needing to be prepared to transition to a rental.

Mallory started out more or less on her own having finished her studies in Albuquerque a semester early.  For her too, initial employment commitments didn’t materialize as expected and other changes really turned her life upside down for a while.  But undaunted, Mal simply picked up all the pieces, rearranged them and moved on powerfully and assuredly into a future no one had envisioned at Christmas.  She is now working full time in Nashville, sharing an apartment with someone she met organizing a Miracle Network Dance Marathon at UNM, undertaking graduate study pursuing a Masters in Divinity, and writing.  Her writing is amazing and she has been published from time to time.  You can check out her web page at M.Paige

Nashville as it turns out was Spring Break for Peter and Joy… those grown children just keep tagging along, but Peter and Joy don’t mind and are glad they still like hanging out with “the parents”.  Mid-week, Peter’s new boss called with a simple question: “Can you be in Romania by Monday?”.  And that began a season of travel to rival most anything past.  Having only limited travel experience in Europe that gap was erased spending time not only Romania, but also Germany, Serbia, Slovakia, Austria, Czech Republic and even popping into Hungary for part of a day.  Return visits to Canada and squeezing in one more before Christmas, to Thailand, will have made it a busy year to say the least.  But we are grateful for the work, and hopefully something next summer somewhere in the world will work out for Joy to join in.  Hard to pick a favourite, but maybe Vienna – “Felt like a puppy in a park full of squirrels”.

Jilly completed her first year of college (university) and is rocking it.  As usual having inherited her mother’s study habits she is doing very well academically earning a spot on a national athletic/academic recognitions list in the first semester and then being recognized as one of two on her (field) hockey team with perfect grades in the second.  More importantly, however, she is finding her own way, making good friends, getting involved in other extracurricular activities and taking those initial small and large steps to adulthood.  It is both hard to imagine that she is already 19, and that the same time that she is only 19.

Although finishing her studies last December, Mallory waited until the end of the school year in May to celebrate graduation with friends, many of whom we have gotten to know in our numerous visits to Albuquerque.  Seeing a child graduate college is quite a milestone, and we are all incredibly proud of her academic and extracurricular achievements graduating Magna Cum Laude with degrees in both Communications and Spanish.  Then, two weeks later, Peter and Joy were back to help Mal pack up her apartment before she and Joy set off on a road trip to the next phase of her life and new home in Nashville with a quick stop in Tulsa to see Joy’s brother, Jerry.

Peter stayed for a meeting in Albuquerque and then a familiar drive back to our old home town of Farmington.  After dinner with an old friend, Peter returned a missed call from his brother to learn his father had passed away in his sleep.  Talk about a day starting and ending with life change!  One you work through and for good reason have well founded hope for the future, the other you don’t even know where to start or what it means to work through.  Peter was able to rearrange his travel schedule and was grateful his boss was supportive in allowing him to get home to Australia for nearly a week for the funeral and much needed time with family.  Hard times, good memories.

There was not a lot of rest this year, but a family summer vacation in Vail really hit the spot.  A belated father’s day outing on Lake Dillon, long walks, shopping (of course), bike rides and some great meals combined with great weather made for a wonderful week.  Peter and Joy also snuck away on a short 5-day getaway to Las Vegas enjoying of course a show, the High Roller observation wheel, shopping, dining (no trip to Vegas is complete without brunch at the Wicked Spoon) and even some relaxing by the pool.

Summer once again came to an end all too quickly, and it was time for Joy to deal with change.  A new class every year is of course change enough, but throw into the mix a new principal and vice principal, and well, you never know what is in store.  Fortunately, the change so far seems to be positive and her class is good...and Christmas break is nearly here.

After the Joy and Mallory road trip to college, it was Peter and Jillian’s turn in August with another stop in Tulsa.  Despite losing a large group of seniors, for the second year in a row Jilly’s team won their conference and earned a spot in the NCAA championships.  The whole family was there!  The other highlight of the championship weekend was celebrating all the October/November birthdays (everyone but Joy).  With Memphis and Nashville only three hours apart, this has made for a fun few months for the girls with Mallory making the trip twice and Jillian once to spend the weekend with each other.  It is great to see them all grown up and enjoying each other’s company, something they may get to do even more now that Jilly will have more free time on the weekends.

Peter finds road trips kind of soothing, at least since the car stopped being full of small children.  Joy doesn’t mind them either (something about not having the clutter around her feet anymore).  In a year with a lot of distractions, perhaps the emerging theme of road trips made sense, so we made yet a third road trip to Tulsa to celebrate Thanksgiving with much of Joy’s family.  As we now prepare to celebrate the birth Jesus, we find ourselves thinking that even in the midst of hard things and no matter where we find ourselves, at home or on the road, we have much to be thankful for and much to look forward to.

From our family to yours, a merry, peaceful and restful Christmas!
~ Peter, Joy, Mallory & Jillian ~