SHE was right... SHE is ALWAYS right :)

Yep – she was right… again…

 

So I do a little umpiring in the local high school (field) hockey competition.  I also wear glasses and being a man of a certain age, my most recent prescription are bifocals.  In general, I don’t rate them.  But for officiating a fast moving sporting event – they flat out don’t work.  I don’t have a current contact lens prescription – to be fair – I don’t rate them either.  But I do have a pair of prescription sunnies.  So although it is not recommended – people can’t see your eyes and know a) what you are looking at, and b) are missing some part of the whole nonverbal communication thing if you have to address one of them sternly – I don’t have much choice.  But Colorado being where it in on the globe, come late in the season, the low light levels kind of create yet another obvious problem. 

Serendipitously, it seems an old pair of glasses is at least as good as my current prescription – frankly this does not surprise me much – and any of you reading this know what I mean from those infrequent visits to the optometrist.

{click click click}  Is this better or {click click click} this.  {click click click} This, or {click click click] this…

Heck I don’t know – it all looks the same after 10-12 clicks…  You can either see or not see – the fine tuning I think is some sort of trickery designed to make you buy a new pair of glasses because there is now a slight adjustment to the last prescription.  So it seems hardly surprising that I’ve done a circle or something and ended up back where I was… TWENTY years ago.

But wait – there’s more!  When I got these older pair of glasses in 1996, I was an operations manager at a mine – so they are Safety Glasses – yeah baby – we are talking high fashion and style here!!!

But hey – problem solved – I now have a pair of glasses I can change to when the light dims – with no annoying bifocal element that makes your vision change in an out as you move suddenly to follow the play on the hockey pitch.

Problem is, they are actually better than my most recent prescription – there are no little halos around brighter objects and such.  So as my 51^st birthday looms we decide to do a couple of fun things.  Last night we went to an intimate acoustic performance with Jennifer Knapp – the halo effect was driving me nuts.  So this morning umpiring glasses no more – we are watching our little one playing hockey out in Tennessee via the magic of the internet and I try the old safety glasses – yeah – much better.  Tonight we had opted for a movie – the Steve Jobs movie .  We are heading out the door and there it was…

“You’re not wearing those are you???”

I used the flawed approach of a logical argument…

“I can see better in these?”

I answer with a question because you know there is an answer coming…

Sparing the lengthy conversation – suffice to say apparently they make me look old – and if I’m old, then…

But an important point here – Joy says the look like they are from the 1980’s. NO I say – I know exactly the vintage – they were 1996.  Yeah says she… but safety glasses back then were probably a decade behind in style.

Anyway – under protest – we go to the movie theater with me wearing my 1996 issue safety glasses.  Winning???

Here’s the rub… somewhere in the 1980’s segments of the movie, I’m looking at Steve Wozniak and realize I’m looking at him in pretty much the same style of glasses he is wearing.  Here's your sign...

(image credit - USA Today)

 

That’s really all I have to say about this – well that and I may be making an appointment at the wretched optometrist after I get back from Texas later this week.

{click click click}