Yep – she was right…
again…
So I do a little
umpiring in the local high school (field) hockey competition. I also wear glasses and being a man of a
certain age, my most recent prescription are bifocals. In general, I don’t rate them. But for officiating a fast moving sporting
event – they flat out don’t work. I
don’t have a current contact lens prescription – to be fair – I don’t rate them
either. But I do have a pair of prescription
sunnies. So although it is not
recommended – people can’t see your eyes and know a) what you are looking at,
and b) are missing some part of the whole nonverbal communication thing if you
have to address one of them sternly – I don’t have much choice. But Colorado being where it in on the globe,
come late in the season, the low light levels kind of create yet another
obvious problem.
Serendipitously, it
seems an old pair of glasses is at least as good as my current prescription –
frankly this does not surprise me much – and any of you reading this know what
I mean from those infrequent visits to the optometrist.
{click click
click} Is this better or {click click
click} this. {click click click} This,
or {click click click] this…
Heck I don’t know –
it all looks the same after 10-12 clicks…
You can either see or not see – the fine tuning I think is some sort of
trickery designed to make you buy a new pair of glasses because there is now a
slight adjustment to the last prescription.
So it seems hardly surprising that I’ve done a circle or something and
ended up back where I was… TWENTY years ago.
But wait – there’s
more! When I got these older pair of
glasses in 1996, I was an operations manager at a mine – so they are Safety
Glasses – yeah baby – we are talking high fashion and style here!!!But hey – problem solved – I now have a pair of glasses I can change to when the light dims – with no annoying bifocal element that makes your vision change in an out as you move suddenly to follow the play on the hockey pitch.
Problem is, they are
actually better than my most recent prescription – there are no little halos
around brighter objects and such. So as
my 51st birthday looms we decide to do a couple of fun things. Last night we went to an intimate acoustic
performance with Jennifer Knapp – the halo effect was driving me nuts. So this morning umpiring glasses no more – we
are watching our little one playing hockey out in Tennessee via the magic of
the internet and I try the old safety glasses – yeah – much better. Tonight we had opted for a movie – the Steve
Jobs movie . We are heading out the door
and there it was…
“You’re not wearing those
are you???”
I used the flawed
approach of a logical argument…
“I can see better in
these?”
I answer with a
question because you know there is an answer coming…
Sparing the lengthy conversation – suffice to say apparently they make me look old – and if I’m old, then…
But an important
point here – Joy says the look like they are from the 1980’s. NO I say – I know
exactly the vintage – they were 1996.
Yeah says she… but safety glasses back then were probably a decade
behind in style.
Anyway – under
protest – we go to the movie theater with me wearing my 1996 issue
safety glasses. Winning???
Here’s the rub…
somewhere in the 1980’s segments of the movie, I’m looking at Steve Wozniak and
realize I’m looking at him in pretty much the same style of glasses he is
wearing. Here's your sign...
(image credit - USA Today)
That’s really all I have to say about this – well that and I
may be making an appointment at the wretched optometrist after I get back from
Texas later this week.
{click click click}